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Dreamless sleep please...

Two taunting forms stand
one of night…so vacant - - black
His cruelties aware me
to make known
I am not welcome in this dream

I keep having nightmares...seriously scarry nightmares.

I haven't had them this bad sense I was a little kid.

I've never slept well, I wasn't an easy kid to have...I'd go to bed fine but I was so scared of the dark I had a night light till I was 9, I still have my teddy and can't sleep without him in the room...I'm 20...but the thing is I wasn't afaraid of the dark though I was afraid of what would come out of it.

I used to have re-occurring bad dreams and nightmares every single night they were so bad I refused to go to sleep. In the end my parents had to give me Karvol...this medicine you put on your pjs when you've got a cold...as it was the only thing that made me drowsy enough to sleep.  My parents had to get me a sleeping bag so I could come into their room when I'd wake up because I couldn't handle being alone. When I was about 10 these dreams slowly went away but I'd still have a bad dream like anyone once in a while (like anyone) and that's how it went. When my Dad passed away the dreams came back but a BIZILLON times worse I had them for around a year then again they went away.

But now they're back...and it's fucking terrofying

I'm 20 goddam years old...I can not be having stupid nightmares that make me afraid to go to sleep.

It is really horrible...

It's getting to the point I have to stay up so late that I'm so exhausted I can't physically keep my eyes open jsut to get to sleep...I just wish it would stop i's turning me into my 6 year old self....I can't deal


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December 2008
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